Taking a Breath

I didn’t do my homework this week. Well, I procrastinated most of the week and as I was bound by duty to take my children Trick ‘r Treating last Monday, I ‘had to’ skip class and therefore got a momentary break from that day’s short story. I also splurged and rented two movies last weekend AND-AND!- gasp- sat on my butt and watched them. Double gasp! (Unfortunately they weren’t very impressive) Regardless, my brain and entire psyche had thrown a heated mutiny and told me it was shutting down indefinitely until I took a couple steps back and gave it some space. Time to shift through my priorities again and take a much needed breath.

I will be so thankful when this semester ends! My skull can’t take much more expansion of my brain. With every flow of words from Dostoevski and Garcia Marquez and Gogol and Hawthorne, it’s just imploding! Then there’s Aristotle and Kant and Hume and I want to go into a temporary hibernation to just absorb it all. It’s so extremely awesome yet so extremely tiring! And of course my insatiable need to write my own words has hit me. There’s times when I HAVE to absorb the words and stories of others, and times when I HAVE to release my own. A bit of a traffic jam occurs when one is forced against the other.

Therefore, mutiny of the brain occurs, where it forces me to mindless TV and movies and repose until I recollect myself. Well, until I satisfy some writing before bombarding my head with more cool info. Must make space!

I made myself sit down and complete some philosophy after English class today.

Yea, there went my ‘Breath’. Quick as it came. Constant dilemma.

I’m at a good point in my English research paper where I can choose to not stress about it this week. I’ll stress about Philosophy. I had to write my journal entry of the week, Is Abortion Immoral? I know, everyone’s wincing. Standard is one page, this one went on for three before I finally stopped. I thought the philosophers on both sides did a lousy job of reasoning their case, and I wasn’t so happy with my classmates’ debate on the topic, either, but it’s such a touchy subject.

Anyway, Yay! Accomplished something. I edited some during the beginning of the week- felt so good! Opening up that file is like looking through a window into someplace marvelous and then reaching out and trully touching it, and your story feels like your favorite really really thick and soft fleece blanket. That’s how comforting it is to see your words written in front of you. I have to rewrite a couple chapters and I’m brewing how that should be handled. One of the characters from the previous book becomes more prominent in this one, and I have to give him what he’s earned. However, I will spend tomorrow cramming for Friday’s Philosophy class (two debates this time), and the weekend writing my papers and seriously researching my own upcoming debate on the ethics of Greenpeace. Why did I pick that one again?

Crap, I still have to read Hawthorne’s The Marble Faun. I did not know it was 400 pages when I picked that one, either. I so deserved that brief mutiny.

There may be absolutely no correlation here to the outside eye, but it’ll so make me feel better just the same: As my former boss use to say, “Breathe in, breathe out: Peace flows through me like a f’n river.”


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