I’m having a moment here, and I realize full well that it’s probably ridiculous. But still.
I set myself a goal for today: DO SOMETHING book-related. None of my other plans are working out. Camping this weekend! Uh, no, because every campground in the surrounding three states- and going into a fourth- are completely filled up. Hate the online reservation system, I really do. People book a year in advance. In my small universe, the only constant is change. There is no way I’ll ever be able to make an actual plan further than a week in advance. I miss the good old days (or maybe just the Colorao mountain system) of first come, first served campsites for last minute people like me. Pay on your honor and fear of mountain kharma wrath.
GET A FREAKING HOUSE! remains the other ongoing plan. Yea, that’s not working out well. Three months of active searching, now with a realtor, and there’s nada. Went through something of a bidding war on a rental I fell in love with two weeks ago, and lost, and I am done for a little bit on that. That was an awful week.
So.
DO SOMETHING BOOK RELATED! I ordered myself. Get my ass moving again. Went through another round of self-doubt. The expense is worrying me. Do I fold, try traditional again-?
Whatever. Not the point of my pouting.
Long story short- Too late!- (anyone seen the movie Clue?), I started an email to a self-pub guru about requesting a quote for his help. Two sentences about what my budget constricts me into focusing on (cover and interior desgin), and I let out a sigh and thought, wait, I can give interior design another actual try.
That’s what I did. Yay! One goal done! Researched proper fonts again and found a good one that isn’t overly common (at least to my novice brain). While converting, I small-capped the beginning of every chapter and single-spaced my doubles.
There went my 600 page novel.
Granted, I was stressng about 600 pages. That’s pretty huge.
But, 300? Now I’m pouting. I don’t like that number. 400 would make me happier.
I’m seriously upset about this!
I do still have to set the funky book and gutter margins, still have to reset my page breaks and format my chapter beginnings, but that won’t give me 100 pages. Of space. To make me feel greater self-worth.
I know, I know. But still. UH!
Of Words and Writing 
I agree! I read this blogging ettiquette article that stated you should never ever complain, everything should only be rosey blogs, and I dissagreed. While you need to level out your frustrations so it doesn’t come off as a rant by a lunatic, no journey happens smoothly. It helps you get through your own road blocks and bumps when you don’t feel so isolated and conspired against. With the uplifting and This Is How I Succeeded posts, I had a need to know other self publisher’s struggles AND how they got through them. By blogging my downs as well as ups, I’m maybe helping someone avoid my same problems. Thanks for reading!
Your post expresses, I believe, the universal frustration of anyone who is trying to write, publish, or market a book. It would just be easier to give up and go back to life before “the book”, but then you read something like this, realize you’re not alone, and hopefully encourage each other to keep at it! I realize this was a month ago, but I’m glad I found it!
We all have these days, weeks, months… Nothing seems to be going right and it starts to seem like it won’t ever…
and then there is that faint flicker of light at the end of the tunnel, and we crawl towards it, and it gets brighter and brighter, and we finally reach it. We make that one small goal. We wrote it down. We achieved it. We cross it off the list. We go to the next one, always striving, always persevering, never giving up…
So true! Thanks for the encouragement! Hope publishing is going well on your end.