Thank You for Shooting Him!

I need to go on a bit of a TV Show rant.  I mean ‘Review’.

First up, Beauty and the Beast! My absolute favorite fairy tale. They may have borrowed the names of the title characters from the original 1980’s version, but that’s slightly ok, as it’s a favorite name.

So let me repeat: Thank you for making Cat shoot Vincent. Twice. Geeze! All the BS you, Writers, have made him into, and she keeps apologizing and assuming fault. Every time another woman pops up, off he runs, and she waits, and blah blah blah. You McDreamy him into being engaged, and he needs to flitter away and play house. ‘Just to see’. And she takes him back after that! Then, suddenly, he’s cheated on a friend in the army, and now this Tori chick (whom I hate, with a passion. Making Gabe look spectacular!). Meanwhile, she’s sabotaging her job for him, lying to friends and family, and has her life in constant danger. He disappears and she quits her job for three months, out of her mind with fear while searching for him, and you return to her some super-amped jackass who no longer remembers her. And today (Monday the 27th), she’s back to feeling guilty and needing to protect him. He doesn’t trust her?! He may have risked his life on occasion for her, but he hasn’t risked his life: his reputation, his career/livelihood, his friends and family, his security, his sense of self, his morals and ethics. Uggg! I’ve been waiting for Cat to snap out of her ‘poor, wronged beast’ mode and either scream her head off at him or (at this point preferably) bring out some karate and beat the s** out of him. Her shooting him- twice- has redeemed you, slightly, but she’s back again to how she hurt him. What? I can’t decide whether you’re trying to prove a point or if you’ve got some entitlement and stereotype issues in relation to gender (boys will be boys, must be her fault). Now that she’s finally stopped calling a man ‘Dad’ based solely on a picture and his ever-so-trustworthy say-so, can we also make her stop psychoanalysing herself and her ‘relationship issues’ to everyone at every conceivable moment? I’m looking at homicide detective-adults who whine and carry on like gradeschoolers. At least you stopped using the word ‘perp’ every two minutes.

I might be taking this a little too personally, but, come on! If I can’t have my happily ever after, than damn it, someone else needs to! Admittedly, as much as the character development has been upsetting me lately, I can’t stop watching it. There’s gotta be a plan. Can’t possibly end the way the first series did. That was god-awful. I am liking the more animal-beast metamorphosis versus the original zombie look. Not sure when that changed, but it is better to stick with the original concept. But you’re- personailty wise- risking  pushing him so far out into unlikable status that he’ll be completely irredeemable. Maybe that’s your goal. Guess I’ll keep watching to see.

Dracula, I haven’t made up my mind about. I keep watching it, not sold on the story line, but waiting for something to happen. Still waiting. Do not kill Renfield. I like him.

Lastly there’s Sleepy Hollow. You people are gods, I swear. Half the time I have no idea what you’re talking about- I think American history was sixth grade and I’ve (embarrassingly) forgotten all of it. There was something on the radio last week about how 50-some% of Americans can name at least 3 Simpsons characters, while only 3% can cite the Amendments. Well, sadly, I can name all the Simpsons, even though I’ve never watched the show. But we tried to recite the Amendments at work and it didn’t go so well. There was an episode of Friends about being able to name all 50 states, and I’m not so good about that. All those tiny East-coast states.

Back to Sleepy Hollow: I’ve also never read the bible, so all those references fly straight over my head. I do know what a Nightmare is (horses of the Apocalypse, which I know only because my son showed me a picture of one after I described my Nightmare in Red Moonglow on Snow). Except that has nothing to do with your story. But, seriously, you belong on the New York Times Bestseller. Yea, for a tv show.  Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant on every single episode. How can a show about a headless horsemen chopping off people’s heads be described as hysterical? To hear fist bumps and cell phones and internet and Onstar being experienced and described by a man who’s been ‘hibernating’ for 250 years. To learn that, in Ichabod’s time,  having ‘awful intercourse’ on a first date would most likely bring about a second date. Awesome. On top of that, it’s the only show we all watch together as a family: me, my mom, one sister, and my boys. Growing up, I had Growing Pains, Family Ties, Cosby Show, Silver Spoons, Dif ‘rent Strokes, Webster……thank all that’s holy and good that we have you, and that what they’ve been learning is made into a visual. And there’s no romance involved! Bonus points! And who would ever describe Ichabod Crane as incredibly perfect? Despite his 250 year old clothing. Women in my family get comfortable and enjoy watching everything he does. He is not the awkard, gawky Ichabod from the cartoon (thank all that’s holy and good). Thank you also for Abbie (after Cat’s flaws). Thank you: she’s intelligent, has a wicked sense of humor, is independent, quick-witted, is not white, and keeps the show grounded and moving. All this, and now you’ve gone away till next fall! We’re bawling over here!


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