I am so ANGRY.

I don’t think you understand the quantity of the word ‘I’.

I don’t think you understand the RAGE whirling around within the state of this anger.

Not I as in sole, me. I, as in millions. There are millions walking around like us, filled with rage at the state of our country; with the ignorant, defamatory, stunted views of our very neighbors, family, friends. Chivalry itself is a fairy tale.

Four days into the new presidency, and I feel as though the fabric of our democracy has been shredded. The fabric of humanity, decency, and the environmental survival instinct that seems to be missing in our current administration. At this rate, there will be absolutely nothing left of US (U.S., America, no longer United States of) by the time he’s gone- whether he’s impeached or overthrown in a month, or whether he somehow has a full four years more.

-Isn’t that a more accurate word? Administration, not government, absolutely not president. Especially not precedent.

ADMINISTRATION: the process or activity of running a business

ADMINISTER: dispense or apply. deal out or inflict (punishment). ‘manage’, ‘control’, ‘handle’, steer, ‘govern’, gaslight (if it fits…)

PRECEDENT: an example or guide to be considered in subsequent similar circumstances

Two autumns ago, I was rolling my eyes about all the new WWII and Nazi themed YA books I kept coming across. Ok already. We’ve learned our lesson. Let’s move on.

And now it is so seratedly-sharp clear that we never did. That the generations between mine and theirs, and the generations after me, didn’t hear a damn thing. What would all those men and women who died to end that say to us now? Nothing. I think they’d be so speechless with shame and abhorrence, they’d be incapable of producing one word. All their sacrifice, for their descendents to willingly chose a repeat. Their generation didn’t know what they’d done. Mine knows. And they did it anyway. Because a black man with a foreign sounding name was president and nothing bad happened.

I can completely agree to the reasons why many could not vote for Clinton. I can see the need for something new, for maybe a non-politician. But HIM? That was your solution? That was your collective descision? Not a green-party, or an independant? We’d have all jumped on board! ALL of us. You couldn’t even chose a different republican? You did this. By next year, ‘I’m sorry’ will be unacceptable.

While I’m tearing up reading about what the TPP agreement stood for and protected, watching my (I’m every woman, you bastard) rights to a safe, medically sound abortion be yanked away by a group of men who openly brag about sexual assault, who cheat on their wives and cheat on their girlfriends and laugh through it all cause god damn it they’re Sunday Christians and white and rich and have a penis NO ONE can dictate the use of. (Who dictated that your genitals and reproductive abilities are off limits?) While I’m stressing about this, about the decrees of censorship, the blockade and possible death of a free press, a dictator’s breakdowns and bi-polar like highs; while I’m upset about attacking people like my great-grandparents, who seek a home in a country that’s supposed to be better, ‘progressive’, safer; while I’m wordless about a pipeline that will permanently poison and destroy not merely my earth, my country, my people, my environment, my water, my future (my as in millions, as in yours, you ignorant morons)- I’m seeing posts about how he was chosen by god! Pictures of him signing these rapes into effect with Jesus smiling down on him and holding the pen in his hand. What the fuck type of god do you people believe in?! He created this world for rich white men with penises to plunder and pilage and DESTROY?

How force-fed were you with the guilt of ‘original sin’ being all the fault of us, women? WTH? Women who somehow find a way to berate and attack something as purely good and civil and binding and UNPRECEDENTED as hundreds of millions of women of every sort of color, age, religion, and economic background coming together in unity on the same day ALL OVER THE WORLD, are the definition of evil. You are. If something like that doesn’t induce awe, or nudge you to step back and reconsider, or to actually listen and take stock, then there’s no antedote for the koolaide you’re drinking.

I am so angry.  So angry because I cannot stay silent. So angry that my private politics must now, ethically, morally, become vocalized. Those who stay silent…..

I write about this shit. It’s supposed to stay in the realm of fantasy and fiction.

I AM SO ANGRY.

We.

And hell hath no fury.